Bear with me, guys.
For those wondering, yes, I’m still pregnant. This “waiting game” is a lesson in selflessness and patience. Two virtues that I hope to excel in as a parent. This is the so-called “mommyhood.” And it has only just begun.
My friend took this last Sunday after church. I told her I wasn’t feeling very photogenic but she insisted we needed one last picture as a family of two. Whoa…now there’s a crazy thought. |
It’s hard to imagine 7-something pounds and 20 inches of baby all squished up inside.
Someone told me the other day that I have that “pregnant look” (not glow, she said look) in my face. Oh, you mean the swollen cheeks and broken out, splotchy complexion which complement the face that I didn’t bother to put make-up on this morning? Yeah, thanks. I know. Now let me show you my “this is how much I care” look. Just be glad I’m wearing shoes today, among other things. I probably misinterpreted her intentions.
I’m not fat, I’m puffy. Harrumph.
Am I (are we) ready? Oh, heck yeah. Mentally and physically. Did you know that only 5% of babies are born on their actual due date? Did you know that our doctor never even bothered to give us a due date (likely because of this reason)? I have officially been released by my doc to the midwives and only go back for fetal heartbeat monitoring. <– read: I’m a ticking time-bomb. Maybe I shouldn’t write that online. Someone might take it out of context. Don’t take it out of context, guys.
At my last appointment, I realized the doctor never gave me “the talk” about when to come in when “it” happens. I’ve read about a 4-1-1 rule or something like that and had no idea what it meant. Will my water break first? How do I time contractions and at what interval should I go to labor & delivery? Am I supposed to call first to let them know I’m on my way? So I asked him, “When should I come in?” He looked at me, blinked, and said, “When you begin to have contractions.” I believe he added the word blödmann to the end of that sentence in his mind. Pardon my French, er, rather German.
How am I feeling? Um. Yeah. If you asked me that 8 days ago, I would’ve said, “AMAZING!” Today, I feel like crap. I’ve been trying to work on my relaxation techniques (which are not exactly great – I never took a “labor and delivery prep” class). It is crazy how much you subconsciously tighten every inch of your body while in pain and if it is below the belly button and above the knees and on my body, it’s in pain. TMI? Sorry.
My modesty flew out the window after my first appointment in der Stuhl. If you’ve ever had a baby in Germany, you probably know what I’m talking about. My mom has seen it. She’s shuddering. I’ll spare you details. You’re welcome.
I am proud to say that I am still very active. I really didn’t think I’d still be exercising this late in pregnancy. Walking is awesome, but I love my yoga, strength, core, and cardio, too. I’ve been working out four times a week, plus keeping busy with things around the house and running errands. It makes me feel so much more balanced and healthy. I’m convinced it will help with delivery and recovery. But then I’m also certain my water will break while I’m dancing around the kitchen rocking out using a wooden spoon as a microphone. If you know me at all, it would be very fitting. Maybe I’ll listen to some Mariah Carey this afternoon…
Random things on my mind:
1. Is it a boy or a girl?
2. I wonder if the baby will have hair. Alex and I were both bald babies. I didn’t have hair until I was three.
The little ice cream cone outfit Alex is wearing was just folded up and put away in the baby’s dresser the other day. Talk about a hand-me-down! Gawd, he was a cute baby. |
3. Is it a boy or a girl?
4. I really want to go into labor and any bubble, grumble, gurgle, and so forth that my body makes I stop and wonder if that was “it”…and then I think about just exactly how the baby enters this world. Oh my God…
5. I own a breastpump and I washed all the pieces the other day. I can’t figure out how to put it back together. So I’m off to a really good start with that.
6. Is it a boy or a girl?
7. I have a mattress protector just in case my water breaks in the middle of the night. I haven’t put it on yet because I want a new mattress. I don’t like ours anymore. Don’t they say you should replace a mattress every 6 years? Or is it 10? I’m going with 5.
8. <unpopular opinion> I think the reserved parking spots for pregnant women should only be for women in their third trimester or pregnant mamas who have other kids. I’ve never used one (in fact, I still park in the back so I have to walk more and I’m still waiting for someone to give me a medal for that) but I was waddling walking by with my pregnant swag as a girl got out of her car in one of the spots. I’d be surprised if she was even 12 weeks. I raced her to the door of the store and still won. (Victory!) I may or may not have given her the side-eye. </end unpopular opinion>
source |
9. Is it a boy or a girl?
10. Last night I finished my pregnancy book up to the pages about the birth, complete with pictures. But I just realized I don’t have a baby book. Huh. Shoot.
I really am turning into that pregnant woman, aren’t I? In all seriousness, I continually remind myself that baby is still cramped in its cozy waterbed because he/she (seriously, what are you?!) still needs something from me. I’m in no hurry. Unless it is December and then I’m in a hurry. God willing, I have the rest of my life to love and cuddle this sweet child. Right now, I just want to focus on this peaceful, quiet time sans dirty diapers. 🙂 I absolutely love being pregnant. <– Seriously, I do.
PROST!
WAIT!
I almost forgot. I have to share this with you! So. My sister-in-law sent me a birthday card with one of those funny awkward family photos on the front. I’m 100% freaked out by it. When I opened the envelope, I ripped it in a way that just my doppelgänger’s face was peeking out. I stopped for a moment. I was so confused. How did Shelby get a picture of me as a kid and why don’t I remember that hideous plaid shirt? Then I took the card out of the enveloped and realized I don’t know those other two people in the picture and that’s not really me.
I can’t find the picture of my kid-self that I’m thinking of, but the girl kneeling on the right (in the card) very well could be me. It is not to my or my mother’s recollection. My mom also claims that I do not have a long lost twin.
Do you see the resemblance? Uncanny or is it just me?
Has this ever happened to you?! This is the second time…remember this picture? At first glance, I swore this was a portrait of me.
Crazy.
miggiepdx says
Wishing you well in these last few days/weeks. Really enjoy following your blog. It brings back so many happy memories! This is the end of your old life. Having a baby is like dying and being reborn, except you get to keep your old body, more or less. You're shedding a skin. It's natural, and you will absolutely know when the time has come. For sure, your devotion to physical conditioning will serve you well as your body takes over and pushes that lil' babe out. Big emo shock, then washed in lots of endorphin love. Hubster will take on the look of a stunned sheep over the next three months, because he doesn't get the chemical benefit. In the meantime, baby can't cry on the inside — it's peaceful at your house! God bless! We're all pulling, er, pushing for you! 🙂