Everyone, meet Greta Rae. Greta, meet everyone.
I’m going to jump ahead of Christmas and Della’s 2nd birthday to tell Greta’s birth story simply because it has already been two weeks and I want to get this written while every detail is still fresh in my mind. Life with three little ones leaves me a little forgetful these days. I’ll go back and play catch-up later.
Let me start off by saying the third trimester of this pregnancy was the easiest one of all three. I had zero aches and pains and I was loving every moment of being pregnant. I attribute this to my weekly visits to the chiropractor. Dr. Ann kept me in alignment so that my body could carry Greta properly and prepare for her birth. My due date was the 12th and I was nesting like a mad woman. I cleaned the house top to bottom weekly, the kids and I were settled into a routine that was easy and comfortable, I was on a roll making dinner plus extra for the freezer. Things were good, really really good.
When I was expecting Owen, I couldn’t wait to go into labor. Once I hit 39 weeks, I did everything I could to try to get labor going. I even ate eggplant parmesan twice a day. I hate eggplant. He came three days after his due date. With Della, it was the same thing. I was uncomfortable and anxious to meet her and she came three days after her due date. This time around, I’ll admit I wasn’t all that anxious. Of course I couldn’t wait to meet baby but I just wanted to soak up as much time with Owen and Della as I could because, call me a “seasoned” mama, I knew that as soon as baby arrived, everything as I knew it would change. Not that that’s a bad thing, but I just wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared for that change.
Having already done this childbirth thing a couple of times, I had a pretty good idea of my preferences. Obviously you can never plan these things, but I had a general idea of what I did and did not want, should the option be available to me. Owen was born in a German hospital and it was very traumatic for me. It was a natural birth, but I’m not pleased with how I or the medical staff handled it. The recovery was atrocious and I still have nightmares about how it all went down. Della’s birth was in a Korean birthing center and it was beautiful – natural, calm and absolutely perfect. Now that we’re back in the states, I was incredibly nervous about having another hospital birth. It’s almost as if I had PTSD from Owen’s birth and I couldn’t shake my fears. After my first few appointments and chatting with with my doula, I became aware of the limitations of the hospital and what they were willing to agree to. No water birth, no tub to labor in. Labor and delivery took place in a hospital bed. An IV would be put in upon my arrival. Alex will attest to how much anxiety this caused me. Maybe this also was part of why I wasn’t in any hurry to have the baby. I liked the doctors I had seen, but the doctor who would deliver would be whoever was on call at the time, so I didn’t even know which one to talk to about my anxiety. And worse, what if the doctor on call was one that I hadn’t ever seen before? I will say this much for the hospital, I was confident that whatever happened, everything would be fine and that I was in good hands. And I had my incredible doula who would help me through it.
My mom arrived the first week of February to get acquainted with our routine, taking Owen to/from school and meeting his teachers, the bedtime song and dance, and so on. With my first two showing up after the due date, I had no expectations of this one arriving early. Little did I know…God and Greta had other plans.
Early in the morning on the 9th, I started having contractions. They were strong enough to wake me up, but not frequent enough to really catch my attention and I went right back to sleep. In fact, I didn’t realize they were contractions that had woken me up until after Greta was born and I looked back on the events of the day. By the time I was up and about, I’d had a couple more and my instincts told me that something was definitely happening, not necessarily labor, but my body was preparing. Even though I didn’t truly believe this was the real deal, I told Alex to go to work but stay by his phone. I think he also thought I was a being a little dramatic…neither of us expected anything for another week or so. But I didn’t want him to end up in the vault or worse yet, in a jet should I actually be going into labor so I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn’t joking around.
I went about my day, we took Owen to school and stopped for a coffee. We went to the store to pick up a couple of last minute additions for the hospital bag…you know, just in case. I had a mild contraction once an hour for most of the day. Once in a while one would be strong but nothing serious and certainly easy to deal with. I had some lower back pain and decided to swing by the chiropractor to get checked out, even though I’d just been two days prior. This was probably the best decision I made that day, though it certainly didn’t slow things down like I had hoped. I got adjusted and also had my ligaments checked to make sure everything was in place and ready for baby. They told me how good it is to get adjusted while you’re in labor because it makes things go so much more smoothly. Well…yeah, they were right. Keep reading…
That afternoon, contractions were about every 20-30 minutes and very mild. I honestly can’t remember exactly what I did that afternoon… I drank a lot of water and tried to rest and relax. I think by this point I knew that I was going into labor, but somehow was still in denial.
I took a nice relaxing bath and caught up on Grey’s Anatomy in hopes that it would slow things down. It didn’t. I called Alex and told him to come home. I didn’t need to go to the hospital but I just need him with me for support. Like I said, I was in denial even though in the back of my mind I knew this baby was coming soon and I needed all the emotional support I could get.
After dinner, we started to get the kids ready for bed and things really started happening. Contractions were still every 20 minutes apart but stronger and growing in intensity. I found that swaying side to side, doing squats in a doorway, and eventually leaning over the bed helped me through them. I spoke to my doula, Jane, at about 6 pm and expressed my fear of going to the hospital and being turned away. Knowing I tend to have fast labors, I wasn’t about to put myself through that. I was much more comfortable laboring at home, anyway. She offered to come to the house to be with me and I agreed. After we got off the phone, however, I had a contraction 15 minutes after the last, the next one came 10 minutes after that and the next one was 5 minutes. I’m not joking, it happened that fast. Each one slammed my body like a ton of bricks and it was all I could do to keep my thoughts straight. “This is really happening. Right now. This is labor. I’m having this baby today.”
I messaged Jane to meet us at the hospital instead and started my way into the kitchen to tell Alex it was time to go. He replied that he was going to brush Owen’s teeth first. I was hunched over on the birthing ball which thankfully happened to be nearby when a contraction hit again and was unable to reply to him that there wasn’t time for that. I then focused all my energy on getting myself to the car. As I was getting into the car, another contraction hit and I had to drop to all fours in the garage. It was dark out, the lights were on in the garage and I recall the sound of several cars driving by. And there I was on all fours on the floor of the garage. Cute. Once I could catch my breath I yelled for Alex who strolled into the garage and apologized that he was trying to get Owen into bed and he wanted to use the bathroom before we left. If I hadn’t been conserving my energy, I’d have punched him I think. Haha, the poor guy had absolutely no idea just how in labor I was.
The drive to the hospital from our house is about 20 minutes. By the time we were at the end of our road my contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart and I didn’t even bother trying to time them. I’ll never forget the intersection of Scenic and 1st. My hands and cheeks began to tingle. A sign I knew from previous labors that meant my body was in transition. Soon my hands would cripple and I’d lose all control of them. So as quickly as I could I messaged Jane that things were progressing quickly and gave her our location. Sure enough my fingers curled up and I was having to moan through contractions. I did manage a quick glance at the speedometer and noticed we were going about 60 mph…in a 35. I explained to Alex what was happening (though I think he was well aware at this point) and prayed to God there were no police on Scenic and that we would make it before baby decided to show up.
We arrived at the hospital at exactly 7 pm. I was constantly contracting at this point but all I cared about was getting into the delivery room. Jane appeared outside the entrance and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was going to make it, everything would be alright. Her presence, her smile, her outstretched hand, all of it was such a relief. When she saw me she dashed to call down the hall to let them know we were coming. And you guys, how I made it down that hall to this day I’ll never know. Maybe an angel, or adrenaline, I don’t know but I did it. With the support of Alex and Jane, I walked the whole way without stopping. I swear that damn hallway was a mile long. There wasn’t time to find a wheelchair. I wanted IN THAT ROOM STAT.
As soon as I got in the room Jane suggested I use the bathroom and I changed into a robe. I was in so much pain and so exhausted. The nurses hustled around me getting everything set up, trying to monitor baby’s heart. They wanted me on the bed to labor, I refused. They wanted to stick an IV in me, which I also refused. I was on my knees leaning over the bed, in my zone. I was managing this labor like a boss (not trying to gloat but I am still so proud of how I handled it). Jane’s voice in my ear reminding me how and when to breathe. I was shaking and shivering and exhausted. She reminded me to relax my shoulders and massaged my back to alleviate some of the pressure. I just wanted the nurses to leave me alone there as I was. Finally they told me that I had to be on the bed to check my cervix. I think my response was something along the lines of “I’m pretty damn well dilated leave me alone” but I suppose they get snarked at by laboring women all the time and no one took it personally. With the next contraction, I felt the tell tale urge to push. I remember the nurses telling me not to because the doctor wasn’t here yet but I told them I trusted them and believed they were capable of handling this and refused to stop. My body was doing what it was supposed to do. What it needed to do.
The doctor rushed in, threw a gown and mask on, took one look at me and said, “the bag of water is bulging, I’m going to break it.” Thinking this might give me a break and some relief, I agreed. He broke it and sure enough I felt much better, but then he immediately said to me, “Emily, take a deep breath and push.” I actually think I refused at first. I wasn’t ready. At this very moment I remember thinking this must all be a dream. It wasn’t even my due date yet. No. I can’t do it. I want to stop all of this right now. I quit. As if I actually believed I could just stop and go home…but I heard Alex tell me to push and Jane looked me in the eye and told me that I would meet my baby very soon. Then a thought popped into my mind, it was something I’d read in my devotional just the night before, “Don’t quit five minutes before your miracle.” So I changed my mind and mustered up every ounce of energy I had left and then some. In a matter of seconds and two pushes, she was born. A whopping 26 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Everyone yelled out, “it’s a girl!!” She cried right away, the sweetest sound. They immediately put her on my chest where she opened her eyes for the first time earth side and we made eye contact. She grew calm up as she warmed up against me. I watched her learn to breathe on her own and stared into her big beautiful eyes. I thanked God for this tiny miracle and for the strength He gave me.
I was so overwhelmed with happiness, gratitude, relief. It’s euphoric, that moment, meeting your child face-to-face for the first time. I wish I had words, but I don’t. It’s emotional, a moment in time that you never get back, a moment you’ll never ever forget. It’s better than any happiness you’ll ever experience in your entire lifetime. Everything in your body is screaming but you’ve never been so happy. I held her there for long time, she nursed like a champ, and we just stared at each other as I felt the weight of her tiny squirmy body on my chest. The after-birth led to more clotting than the doctor was okay with so I agreed to a small dose of pitocin via a shot in the leg (I handled child birth better than I handled that shot) and then he informed me I wouldn’t need any stitches, which was music to my ears. This was by far the easiest recovery of the three. I couldn’t believe how good I felt, even just hours after her birth.
She was our tiniest babe yet at 6 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches long. She had the tiniest amount of dark brown fuzz for hair and deep blue eyes, just like Owen and Della at birth.
I wasn’t nearly as mentally prepared for this labor and delivery as I wish I had been. As I sit writing all of this, I realize that I desperately wish I could relive this day, as crazy as that might sound. I want to go back and take it all in a little better than I did. It all happened so fast, it took several days for me to process. I am so in love with my new baby girl but I really miss being pregnant and still struggle with the fact that she came before her due date, something I never expected would happen. Hormones are fierce, man.
We hadn’t even decided on names yet so she was Baby Girl Smith and they kept calling her Baby Girl which made me cry every time (again, hormones). I had this beautiful new baby and I couldn’t even call her by her name. I took a shower and then the nurse gave her her first bath before moving us to the recovery room. She absolutely loved her bath and it reminded me so much of Della getting her first bath.
Alex and I had dinner and enjoyed the quiet peaceful time with our new little one. It was really a special time for the three of us. I was still on the adrenaline rush/post-birth high so I didn’t really get any sleep that night. Instead I snuggled my fresh new babe and stared at her, studying every detail of her…and also tried to decide which name on our short list suited her best. In between the nurses coming in to check vitals, do the dreaded belly massage and draw my blood twice, I might have slept 10 minutes.
The next morning my mom brought Owen and Della to the hospital to meet her. I was so excited to see them I could hardly eat breakfast. We didn’t tell them if they had a brother or sister beforehand and I couldn’t wait to see their reaction. As you may recall, Owen really wanted a brother. When he walked in and found out that he had a new sister, I don’t think it even occurred to him that it wasn’t what he was hoping for. He exclaimed, “She’s just as cute as I could have ever wanted!” When I asked which name they liked best for their new baby sister, Della leaned over her and said, ” Hi Gweta!” and we all knew right then and there that she was Greta. My heart melted into a big ol’ puddle on the floor.
I was so exhausted but it was magical having my family of five together for the first time. It felt so right.
Greta is now 2 weeks old and I haven’t stopped squeezing, kissing, sniffing, cuddling and staring at her since they first put her on my chest. Time is such a thief. Owen and Della are constantly bringing her toys and blankets, reading books to her and singing her songs. She fits so seamlessly into our family and I am so grateful for that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, our life is so crazy and our hands are full, but it’s just better than ever and I can’t thank God enough for the blessings He has given me.
Terry Hoffman says
Congratulations!
Randy & Jodi says
Congratulations on your new baby girl Greta Rae!